Why is it so hard being me? Am i just another bitch who is hiding under this thick skin? Or maybe im the overly sensitive and insecure girl that just needs a place to belong to? Im lost in this world. Lazing around everyday, trying to find what suits me the best. I have nothing to blog about so im gonna blog about me right now. Why is it really hard being me.
I am a bright student, once, but not for long. Im sick of it. I usually do a lot of studies back in high school as i have aims to achieve. The good deals are just across the river of knowledge. You study, you will get it. Thats what has been embedded in my mind till now. Little has change on this perspective of life, but a lot have change about my attitude regarding this matter. I am no longer the brainiac who works her ass off assignments and homeworks. I dont do last minute work when i was a high schooler but now in college, everything seems relaxed and calm. Last minute will do. Not. Im so wrong. I havent done my Oral Assignment Presentation but i managed to finish my IT Presentation. And look on the dark side of life : i have to attend some stupid camp for 5 days without my work load with me. So how am i suppose to finish all this? Dammit.
I am someone who keeps a smiley face whenever you see me. Indeed, i am a joyous person, loves to crack jokes and laugh. Laughter is the best remedy for pain. When i laugh with my friends, im easing all my pains away, washing them down in the presence of those smiles i get from everyday. I love that. I dont know what i would do without my friends by my side. I can get high from laughing sometimes, but please dont ask me why. I just cant stop when i have started the process, no turning back. Sorry. Its like driving a car forward, and all of the sudden the car just reverse again. Its weird eh? I dont know what im bullshitting right now. Anyways, i love those laughters. To my dear friends, i love you guys a lot.
Im living in a world full of pretense. Why am i saying so? Tell me what it is like to see a guy everyday, accept him as a friend, but deep down inside you just want to tell him how much you like him? Its a torture to live with, but i can put up with stuff like this, im strong. Not really. But stronger than before. Ive been bruised and hurt, i mean my heart, not physically. Yea, i can put with this for the rest of my life. Unless someone comes in and rescue me. Oh, if only you know. Just give me some feedbacks. Let me know things that can make me stop thinking about you. Things that will cause heartaches, heartbreaks and maybe sleepless nights, anything so that i can forget you were ever in my heart. When there is no pain, you dont gain anything. So pain is love. Thats why they say, when you have been loved, you have tasted all the joy in the world. Im yet to feel all the joy the world brings. Forgive me for my ramblings. Just ignore it.
I dont want to be me. I want to be somebody else. Dont you? If you tell me that you dont want to be someone else when you're imperfect, you're lying, crapping, bullshitting. You think im going to believe every down right lie you tell me? Hell no. I want to be perfect. Or if its impossible, i want things to go perfectly well. Thats a double dose of impossibilities. And yet, i still wish upon a falling star.
I have to be someone who i dont want to be. Im just your average girl next door. Nothing special, nothing sweet, a little sour and maybe least spicy. I bite if you tread on me. I kick and scream if you dare bludgeon me with insults or physical threats. I dont really want to do something. But needing to keep others happy, i will go your way, even if it hurts me so. You see, im nice, fairly nice, overly nice, but i have my limits. Please stop!
There is nothing more i can say. If anyone reads this, shoot yourself to death. I dont want this leaking out. Joking.
In Berberboo's mind : This are just my thoughts, my feelings, my life. You disagree with it, leave me to myself, and my blog.
I am a bright student, once, but not for long. Im sick of it. I usually do a lot of studies back in high school as i have aims to achieve. The good deals are just across the river of knowledge. You study, you will get it. Thats what has been embedded in my mind till now. Little has change on this perspective of life, but a lot have change about my attitude regarding this matter. I am no longer the brainiac who works her ass off assignments and homeworks. I dont do last minute work when i was a high schooler but now in college, everything seems relaxed and calm. Last minute will do. Not. Im so wrong. I havent done my Oral Assignment Presentation but i managed to finish my IT Presentation. And look on the dark side of life : i have to attend some stupid camp for 5 days without my work load with me. So how am i suppose to finish all this? Dammit.
I am someone who keeps a smiley face whenever you see me. Indeed, i am a joyous person, loves to crack jokes and laugh. Laughter is the best remedy for pain. When i laugh with my friends, im easing all my pains away, washing them down in the presence of those smiles i get from everyday. I love that. I dont know what i would do without my friends by my side. I can get high from laughing sometimes, but please dont ask me why. I just cant stop when i have started the process, no turning back. Sorry. Its like driving a car forward, and all of the sudden the car just reverse again. Its weird eh? I dont know what im bullshitting right now. Anyways, i love those laughters. To my dear friends, i love you guys a lot.
Im living in a world full of pretense. Why am i saying so? Tell me what it is like to see a guy everyday, accept him as a friend, but deep down inside you just want to tell him how much you like him? Its a torture to live with, but i can put up with stuff like this, im strong. Not really. But stronger than before. Ive been bruised and hurt, i mean my heart, not physically. Yea, i can put with this for the rest of my life. Unless someone comes in and rescue me. Oh, if only you know. Just give me some feedbacks. Let me know things that can make me stop thinking about you. Things that will cause heartaches, heartbreaks and maybe sleepless nights, anything so that i can forget you were ever in my heart. When there is no pain, you dont gain anything. So pain is love. Thats why they say, when you have been loved, you have tasted all the joy in the world. Im yet to feel all the joy the world brings. Forgive me for my ramblings. Just ignore it.
I dont want to be me. I want to be somebody else. Dont you? If you tell me that you dont want to be someone else when you're imperfect, you're lying, crapping, bullshitting. You think im going to believe every down right lie you tell me? Hell no. I want to be perfect. Or if its impossible, i want things to go perfectly well. Thats a double dose of impossibilities. And yet, i still wish upon a falling star.
I have to be someone who i dont want to be. Im just your average girl next door. Nothing special, nothing sweet, a little sour and maybe least spicy. I bite if you tread on me. I kick and scream if you dare bludgeon me with insults or physical threats. I dont really want to do something. But needing to keep others happy, i will go your way, even if it hurts me so. You see, im nice, fairly nice, overly nice, but i have my limits. Please stop!
There is nothing more i can say. If anyone reads this, shoot yourself to death. I dont want this leaking out. Joking.
In Berberboo's mind : This are just my thoughts, my feelings, my life. You disagree with it, leave me to myself, and my blog.
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