People come and go in your life, but those who have made a deep depression on the dough of your heart, never ever let them go, even the slightest thing you do, never ever hurt them, coz if you do, you will feel tormented for the rest of your life. I have experienced certain stuffs in my life in which i just want to go back and changed it all again but i cant. And one of them that i feel needs to be changed is about my relationships with guys. Thats really awkward for me to tell you people all this, but there is a lesson learnt from all this crap im going to talk about.
Last year, my ex hurt me so bad, well not that bad if you come to think of it now, but it definitely had an impact on me and i didnt dare trust him anymore. We broke up even before the relationship started to get really serious. He was still eager to get me back, but i wasnt as enthusiastic as him. Him blundering my trust aint making me believe in him deeply no more. I guess its what you call puppy love. Till now, he is still nice to me. I am glad that we are still friends. He hasnt moved on, but i hope i can move on pretty quick. Someone help!!!
The dumbest thing i made was to fall for a guy over the internet, thinking that he was an angel and all. After all, he was nice. He made me happy and all in the 6 months of the 'relationship'. Stupid to fall for a virtual guy rather than going back to a real man! I thought it was going to be good, having being able to go to where he is and study together with him. Ctk told me before that her cousin met a guy over the internet and everything turned out to be perfect, in the end they got married and have 2 wonderful kids. I wanted to give it a shot too, but now the reality sinking in was so bad i swear im never gonna fall in love with a guy till i know him longer.
The guy i knew, M was good, perfect, saw his pics, webcam with him before. I just fell deeply in love with him.He melt my heart every time i hear his voice over the phone, gave me assurance and confidence. Never knew what 6 months of bullshit will land me into. Met him in an online game (Never ever trust those people you get in games). Everyone said we were perfect...or at least near perfect as one is here and the other is half way around the world. Well, no one knew we were far apart apart from our really good buddies as i was mistaken for being an American because my English was apparently okay ( Pardon me for being cocky! ). Everything went good. Till the day i decided to quit gaming due to the earthquake in Taiwan that devastated my internet line for 2 fucking months.
Havent chatted with him ever since, no calls, no mails, nothing whatsoever. Worse comes to worst, when i decided to pop into my game for a bit to check out the new updates that i missed in all those months, someone told me he had had a new gf and worse, he had sex with her. Ok...he told me he was good. And just a few minutes back, he told me he now smoke cigars, weed and anything imaginable. WTF! And he drinks too! That was the reason i broke up with my ex. And another bugger who turns out like this. I wish i didnt commit myself. Its a pain to have to go through. I guess its bye-bye to him now. And bye-bye to gaming till im cured.
I wish i had a really good bf like those of my friends who dont smoke or drink. Its really nice to see them together. Or maybe, it isnt the guys, but its me who is expecting too much of them. What am i supposed to do? You tell me! If i can change time, i wouldnt have commit myself so deeply with a useless unknown fart that i cant even see real life or touch but he still managed to break my wee lil heart into smithereens. I might still be happy if i was patient enough and learn how to give and take. Someone!!! Help!!!
In Berberboo's mind : Some things are meant to be broken, but if its broken too many times, its difficult to pick up all the pieces and glue them back together as it was once before, flawless before time.
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