Warning. This post may be full of feelings, frustrations, emo-ness, a little bit of sweet and spices, and everything you can imagine. It is also a quite long post and hardly any or no pictures at all so, its all words. Please click Back if you're not ready to hear my ramblings or if you're not ready for the moments of truth.
Holidays are total suck-ups. They drain your brainpower away, drain your skills away, drain your mood away and drains everything down in the longkang. It is also the time in your life when you have nothing to do and then, you start reflecting upon the little things in your life, and what it has become to be. All the guilt, the frustration, the desires all pounding in your little heart, waiting to explode and tell the whole world how you feel. And that is definitely what im in right now.
As you have seen in my previous post, my finals results were out yesterday. Getting a CGPA of 3.58, a lot will want to be in my shoes, right? Junie with her excellent results, she got praised by her boyfriend, David. And with that, she is happy enough so when she goes over to Perth, she wont be strangled like a rabbit as what she have said. Ropa, with her excellent results, got cash from her parents as a reward. She can enjoy shopping with the cash, coz thats what she loves best. As for me, wanna know what i got? Not a congratulatory wish, not even a cent, not a present, nothing. All i got were sour faces and questions. Why cant you get all D's? Is it so hard to get HD when others can? How come you only Pass Physics when i thought you have no problem? Did you get the highest CGPA? How come you cannot get a CGPA of 3.8? YES, those are the questions i got. I thought they would be happy enough with the grades i got coz i told them my Physics totally sucks big time. I told them. I did. But they never listened. Parents just never listen to us. Maybe they are too busy with their work. That is an exception. But dont come breathing down my neck when i didnt score well for my results. Its not my fault, you guys just never paid the attention i needed. Thats why i turn to friends. Lots of em. DyDy, Winn, Junie, Terrance, Cherry...all of you out there. Thanks for being a good friend. Without you guys, i wont be standing in front of you anymore. Anyone wants to swap parents with me for a change?
It has been a thing for a long time that everytime i studied hard and the results payed off, i would get something as an encouragement to study harder in the near coming exams. This encouragement which comes in any form is like a candle burning with enormous flames, so hard to extinguish. It is the reason i have my drive to study. Coz when you study, you will feel happy with all the 'profits' coming in. I have lost that drive, that urge to study longer. Now, i just want to live my life, dont want to stress myself as much. Last time, stressing yourself up for exams is just a trivial thing, coz you know by the end of everything, there will be a fruit of your labour. Yes. You guys will be proud of me when i get good results so that you can show off to other people issit? And all the cover up gifts is for me to skulk up in my corner there playing like thinking, whoa...i got gifts for studying hard!!! No. Its not gonna happen anymore. Ive grown, maybe a little bit too childishly, or maybe too maturely or whatever, BUT i can definitely think ahead, think between the lines, think beyond what was there and comprehend everything. For you, now is, Amber must get good results is because of her own good. Bla bla bla. Other people passed, a pass is still a pass. Where does a HD get you to? Its still a pass! You're moving on the same way like others do. Unless they allow you to skip a year if you get HDs' and thats GOOD! I doubt there will be anything like that.
DyDy said it his blog that i am a sad girl. Yes, i totally agree 100% with him. Every little Tom big and hairy would have problems in their life. I certainly do. Maybe my problems just dont come and go like others do, but it is inborn, innate in my life. i feel frustrated seeing things around me everyday. I couldnt grasp the understanding of certain things. Why did this happened like that? Like this? WHY? A problem: guys date girls right? Ive seen guys dating girls (im not sorry to say this), who are fuckingly ugly, fuckingly stupid, fuckingly bitchy...maybe if their personality is awesome i cant complain much, but their personality totally sucks. And if its for the money, hey girl, how stooopid can you be? And if its for the body, haha...that stupid girl will be dumped after she gets laid, i assure you. Im not fuckingly ugly, neither am i stupid, or less bitchy coz im not bitchy in real life, only in my blog coz MY LIFE IS A FUCKING BITCH!!!, my personality is bubbly enough, and im neither rich nor poor. Maybe my body is a big sucker factor coz im fat, yes i am. How come girls like sluts get bfs' while a girl like me dont? Okay, im a bit over-exaggerating right now. I do have bfs', i do have people liking me, and i do like guys, no lezzies. Maybe, the mere fact that i dont have one because im too hot to handle. Or is it guys dont like their girls to overpower them? Their ego? Their pride? Is it that way? Maybe, i just dont know. I studied hard, to prove myself to others that im not a stupid CCB LAKIA if thats what you guys think of us. Or maybe its just my skin you're making a fuss of, but mind you all my exs' are pure Chinese and thats not a problem for them. You think i doused them with love potion? Oh fark you, how low can you get? If thats whats in your mind right now, im sad to say that you will be facing years of shit in the future. Coz thats what you'll get. Ok, enough about racism. But does being smart pay off? I like a smart guy. Smart guys like smart girls. But im not surprised smart guys end up with stupid girls. Ive seen it happen. Maybe the guy just wants someone who is a level lower then him so that he wont feel frustrated with his life. So if this is how the world revolves, then who shall i get? Stupid ramblings.
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I have more to whine about, but sad to say its on a more personal and private issue which i clearly cannot speak out or my blog will be condemned to the very end of the earth.
Have pleasure reading. If you still are. And dont think im plastic. I have feelings. And they are strong ones too.
In Berberboo's mind : If you come back home with an N95 for me, i will shut the fuck up and delete this entire post. But the chances that will happen is...NIL.
Holidays are total suck-ups. They drain your brainpower away, drain your skills away, drain your mood away and drains everything down in the longkang. It is also the time in your life when you have nothing to do and then, you start reflecting upon the little things in your life, and what it has become to be. All the guilt, the frustration, the desires all pounding in your little heart, waiting to explode and tell the whole world how you feel. And that is definitely what im in right now.
As you have seen in my previous post, my finals results were out yesterday. Getting a CGPA of 3.58, a lot will want to be in my shoes, right? Junie with her excellent results, she got praised by her boyfriend, David. And with that, she is happy enough so when she goes over to Perth, she wont be strangled like a rabbit as what she have said. Ropa, with her excellent results, got cash from her parents as a reward. She can enjoy shopping with the cash, coz thats what she loves best. As for me, wanna know what i got? Not a congratulatory wish, not even a cent, not a present, nothing. All i got were sour faces and questions. Why cant you get all D's? Is it so hard to get HD when others can? How come you only Pass Physics when i thought you have no problem? Did you get the highest CGPA? How come you cannot get a CGPA of 3.8? YES, those are the questions i got. I thought they would be happy enough with the grades i got coz i told them my Physics totally sucks big time. I told them. I did. But they never listened. Parents just never listen to us. Maybe they are too busy with their work. That is an exception. But dont come breathing down my neck when i didnt score well for my results. Its not my fault, you guys just never paid the attention i needed. Thats why i turn to friends. Lots of em. DyDy, Winn, Junie, Terrance, Cherry...all of you out there. Thanks for being a good friend. Without you guys, i wont be standing in front of you anymore. Anyone wants to swap parents with me for a change?
It has been a thing for a long time that everytime i studied hard and the results payed off, i would get something as an encouragement to study harder in the near coming exams. This encouragement which comes in any form is like a candle burning with enormous flames, so hard to extinguish. It is the reason i have my drive to study. Coz when you study, you will feel happy with all the 'profits' coming in. I have lost that drive, that urge to study longer. Now, i just want to live my life, dont want to stress myself as much. Last time, stressing yourself up for exams is just a trivial thing, coz you know by the end of everything, there will be a fruit of your labour. Yes. You guys will be proud of me when i get good results so that you can show off to other people issit? And all the cover up gifts is for me to skulk up in my corner there playing like thinking, whoa...i got gifts for studying hard!!! No. Its not gonna happen anymore. Ive grown, maybe a little bit too childishly, or maybe too maturely or whatever, BUT i can definitely think ahead, think between the lines, think beyond what was there and comprehend everything. For you, now is, Amber must get good results is because of her own good. Bla bla bla. Other people passed, a pass is still a pass. Where does a HD get you to? Its still a pass! You're moving on the same way like others do. Unless they allow you to skip a year if you get HDs' and thats GOOD! I doubt there will be anything like that.
DyDy said it his blog that i am a sad girl. Yes, i totally agree 100% with him. Every little Tom big and hairy would have problems in their life. I certainly do. Maybe my problems just dont come and go like others do, but it is inborn, innate in my life. i feel frustrated seeing things around me everyday. I couldnt grasp the understanding of certain things. Why did this happened like that? Like this? WHY? A problem: guys date girls right? Ive seen guys dating girls (im not sorry to say this), who are fuckingly ugly, fuckingly stupid, fuckingly bitchy...maybe if their personality is awesome i cant complain much, but their personality totally sucks. And if its for the money, hey girl, how stooopid can you be? And if its for the body, haha...that stupid girl will be dumped after she gets laid, i assure you. Im not fuckingly ugly, neither am i stupid, or less bitchy coz im not bitchy in real life, only in my blog coz MY LIFE IS A FUCKING BITCH!!!, my personality is bubbly enough, and im neither rich nor poor. Maybe my body is a big sucker factor coz im fat, yes i am. How come girls like sluts get bfs' while a girl like me dont? Okay, im a bit over-exaggerating right now. I do have bfs', i do have people liking me, and i do like guys, no lezzies. Maybe, the mere fact that i dont have one because im too hot to handle. Or is it guys dont like their girls to overpower them? Their ego? Their pride? Is it that way? Maybe, i just dont know. I studied hard, to prove myself to others that im not a stupid CCB LAKIA if thats what you guys think of us. Or maybe its just my skin you're making a fuss of, but mind you all my exs' are pure Chinese and thats not a problem for them. You think i doused them with love potion? Oh fark you, how low can you get? If thats whats in your mind right now, im sad to say that you will be facing years of shit in the future. Coz thats what you'll get. Ok, enough about racism. But does being smart pay off? I like a smart guy. Smart guys like smart girls. But im not surprised smart guys end up with stupid girls. Ive seen it happen. Maybe the guy just wants someone who is a level lower then him so that he wont feel frustrated with his life. So if this is how the world revolves, then who shall i get? Stupid ramblings.
--------
I have more to whine about, but sad to say its on a more personal and private issue which i clearly cannot speak out or my blog will be condemned to the very end of the earth.
Have pleasure reading. If you still are. And dont think im plastic. I have feelings. And they are strong ones too.
In Berberboo's mind : If you come back home with an N95 for me, i will shut the fuck up and delete this entire post. But the chances that will happen is...NIL.
2 comments:
mMmm smart guys *touches them*
LOL...u touch alone la...=P
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