Shed A Tear

Listen and watch this two videos <3

Definitions

Memories kept flashing by... Wondering why they did? Is it nostalgia? Was it a longing?

It's difficult to accept the truth when there isn't any truth in it at all. He once told me why he fell in love with me last year. But what would you do when you found out a year's worth of relationship and 6 months apart, that all those were just pure lies? What would you do if you found out that you were just being pushed around back then, and the only reason he 'liked' me was purely a joke among his friends? That certainly explains the reason why he was smelling my signature on the attendance list of CIC class, his awkward facial expressions when we had McD together for the first time, the look on his face when he talked to me about something personal. It wasn't a longing, it wasn't genuine, they were purely jokes to humor himself and his friends. I finally recognised the face of doubt, the face of fear, the face of lies.

Definitions of life. Live while you can, because you will never know when your time is up. Having to face a very difficult 2010, it's good to become stronger. And wiser.

Definitions of emo. Crying for hours till my eyes dried up. Eyes all red and swollen. Crying till my whole body started shaking, migraine kicks in, and I can't even get up anymore. Trying to get up but falls, bumping my head, hips, anywhere, bruising myself without feeling the pain, because the pain inside is so much more unbearable than the pain outside. Lying on the floor motionless, staring into the blank space. Lying in bed having sleepless nights, waking up the next day with blood on the pillow. Losing lots of beauty sleep, losing 10kgs in 2 months. Failing health. Rapid hair loss, cracked skin. Bad loss of nutrition. Gastric ulcers and constant vomiting. Not being able to perform the normal daily routine. A lost soul wandering, moving around aimlessly. The inability to feel anything anymore, laugh for the sake of laughing, smile for the sake of smiling. But truly, I never feel anything inside anymore. Everything is dead. That is the damage you caused me. After everything I thought I knew about you, was all a lie. I thought it was the right thing to do, making excuses for you, making excuses that you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. But its difficult to keep lying to myself. When will I stop lying to myself? When will I stop making excuses for you?

Even I cannot tell myself when. I would like to remember the good, and forget the bad. But now, even the good I remembered, turned out to be bad. They were all lies. Who am i to trust?

A Wet Saturday Afternoon

"Never look back," we said How was I to know I'd miss you so? Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind Where do I go? And you didn't hear All my joy through my tears All my hopes through my fears Did you know, still I miss you somehow From the bottom of my broken heart There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know You were my first love, you were my true love From the first kisses to the very last rose From the bottom of my broken heart Even though time may find me somebody new You were my real love, I never knew love 'Til there was you From the bottom of my broken heart "Baby," I said, "please stay. Give our love a chance for one more day" We could have worked things out Taking time is what love's all about But you put a dart Through my dreams through my heart And I'm back where I started again Never thought it would end You promised yourself But to somebody else And you made it so perfectly clear Still I wish you were here

Thank you Britney Spears for the awesome song to listen to during a rainy afternoon. Sitting here alone at my terrace, looking at the 4 little kittens sleeping under the BBQ pit. I couldn't feel anything anymore. Not even a bit of sympathy. All i feel is anger. Angry that the useless mother just left her litter of kittens here. Such irresponsible parent. Just like someone's. How could parents become so irresponsible? If its coming from animals, i practically understand as they are not being gifted with the gift to think. But duh, what about maternal instinct? Hmph... I guess in this world, more human parents are beginning to act like animals. What a sad world this it, ain't it?

I wanna pour some milk for the kittens, give them an old rag, put them in a box. But I do not feel any love towards these kittens. Puppies might be a different story altogether. Whats wrong with me? Where did my emotions went to? It seems the only emotion i can feel right now is anger. Guess I really did became heartless. A robot. Maybe the wound hasn't been healed yet. Maybe...

The kittens at the pit. With those blue-round goblin-liked eyes, its a wonder what their DNA would be. I might just put this kittens up for adoption tomorrow, or dump them at the recycling center. Heartless I know, but I seriously do not like cats! Haih... but pity them, for they do not know why they were born into this world. Stupid kitten parents! =.=

On a personal note, never trust somebody who promised you the world, but threatens to destroy your life after that. It's not worth it.

PS. Kittens are still available. Holla back if anybody wants to adopt them. FREE OF CHARGE!

Salmon FishFest!

As mentioned in the Borneo Post today, 1 of the 5 things women should eat more is salmon! Yes! I totally love salmon. That reddish, sweetish, tender and juicy fillet... *salivates*

Salmon Toro Piri - Piri Don

Sake Sushi

Went to Sushi King the other day for their November Salmon Promo. Vowing to try everything on the menu! If my stomach permits! :)

And its more filling to eat Don than normal sushis... hmph... Don Don! I'm coming back to see you soon! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...................................

Riding Like A G6

Missing the cold KL air whipping through my hair...
Riding like a G6 in an M6 is ecstasy...
Wishing he would walk through that door everytime I called...
A wish shall always remain a wish.
And it shall never come true.
But I shall cherish those moments together.
Because it was the day I changed for the better.
:)