Stone Cold

A year has gone by so quickly since the day you left, and the pain and memories still remain. I'd be lying to say I have moved on, and I did lie to myself. Thought maybe the new beau could have changed everything, but nothing will change if I don't change. If I couldn't move on in the first place, then his presence was a waste. I feel so bad for him, feel so sorry. Felt like I was playing with his feelings, cheating him all along. I told him I liked him, but there is no way I could love him. Finally I decided to tell him I couldn't take things up a notch, I wouldn't dare to commit. And lucky he understood and we could still remain friends, unlike the ex. The heart feels so cold, stone cold. He did warmed it up the best he could, but the embers could not reignite, they were left burnt to ashes. Haih... I'm sorry :(

Listening to Jars of Heart by Christina Perri now. Feeling the words cutting me so deep inside.

Who do you think you are,
running round leaving scars,
collecting your jar of hearts
and tearing love apart.
And it took so long to feel alright,
To put back the light in my eyes,
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed,
Cause you broke all your promises,
And now you're back.

Yes you still haunt me deeply. Every time, every where.