It's Set

Looking back at life, it's sad to see another year passing by so quickly. 2010 is nearing an end and I couldn't wait for it to. 2010 is a year where nothing went right. Whole family's health plummeted negatively, failed relationships and fake friendships, lies, hatreds, betrayals, anger, temptations, death. Nothing seems to surprise me anymore after all the hiccups happening this year. Before, I used to trust people and let people in slowly in my life. Nowadays, the barrier can never be removed, neither will it crack or shatter. No one is allowed in. Not even my family. I'm going to hide everything in this humanoid form. It's set. I'm giving up my hopes and dreams. For I know none will give me satisfaction, none will make me happy. Pursuing my masters or PhD will just be a memory, a dream I once dreamed when I was more sane, in love, and thought of the future. Now, its just a day at a time.

On a lighter and happier note, I just realized I look hella good in yellow :)

And pardon me, I've lost so much weight I'm kinda upset about it because my clothes don't fit so well now :( see my angular arms! Darn!

On the first page of our story

the future seemed so bright

then this thing turned out so evil

I don't know why I'm still surprised

even angels have their wicked schemes

and you take that to new extremes

but you'll always be my hero

even though you've lost your mind

Now there's gravel in our voices

glass is shattered from the fight

in this tug of war, you'll always win

even when I'm right

because you feed me fables from your hand

with violent words and empty threats

and it's sick that all these battles

are what keeps me satisfied

So maybe I'm a masochist

I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave

til the walls are going up

in smoke with all our memories...

p.s. If he had loved at all in the beginning, he would have called.