Statistically Indeterminate Emotions

My mood swings are pretty bad the past few days...
Whenever life seems to be perfect, ill just fucked it all up again...
Whenever life is calm, ill just add more stress into it.
Why cant i leave things the way they were?
Why cant i just be like any other normal people roaming the streets about?
My moods are like indeterminate beams...
Not knowing the correct answer till you solve the equations.

If drawn a graph in time...
Its worse that the Andes...
Zig zags showing that my moods are statically indeterminate.
It goes all the way up till infinity ultimatum...
And then crashed to the deepest oceans...
Its like a tsunami in the Sahara...
Its a mystery.

I used to laugh and cry at the same time...
But now i know that laughter and cries are two separate things...
I learnt to differentiate both of them to a degree that im not smiling like a clown anymore.
I learn to break down in front of others.
Where is my steel frontier?
The ones i used to have when all hope was gone?
The ones i used to pretend everything was alright?

I feel hopeless, dejected and all alone...
I just want to go to the beaches and shout till my lungs sore...
I just wanna scream and thrash till my limbs tore...
If pain was something that can multiply...
I didnt have to go so far for an addition.
I would just have to subtract inch by inch...
Till the time ticks slow.

I was like that then...
But now never the same...
I learnt to open up...
Open up till my heart gets too vulnerable...
That every inch of solitude cuts deep into the veins.
It was something i never done before...
Not to anyone, but you.

I was happy and whole...
I was dreaming as my heads are in the clouds.
I was a completed jigsaw puzzle...
The missing pieces were all found.
With you, e = mc^2
I didnt have to look further...
Coz everywhere i go, all i see is you.

It was you who picked the pieces up...
When I was a broken soul...
And then glued me back together...
Returned to me what others stole.
It was you i find it hard to let go...
Coz i know itll never happen.
Ill always stay... always and forever...