Been stressing a lot lately... conceptual layout design isnt completed... gonna get killed by the lecturer tomorrow. Troubles with the new road design... hope things will get settled by tomorrow morning. Hate being the project manager. Wont happen again in the near future. Always wanted to do my homework, but always leave them for another day. Now there isnt any more other days to do it. Im at an end. Roadblock. Try to get things settled over the weekend. As well as getting my brains back to where it should be. Soul, mind and body have to be in unison for me to function properly. Recently, im always neither here nor there. Making judgments too rashly, acting too quickly and irrationally, never once did i think and consider the consequences. I just blare things out by actions. I feel so stupid at times. Wish i could turn back the time, but if God does that all the time, then i wouldnt be growing older by the days. Super stress... guess im no superwoman. I cant do things right for once. Whats wrong with me? Ive changed... became worse. I hated it. I want my old life back. When i thought everything is placed perfectly, problems started arising. Why is my life so complicated? My mum keeps bugging me everyday, try to ask about my life and such. Trying to communicate with me, but i wont reply her much. Coz everything i told her, she will discourage everything. I need someone to listen, not to scold. I know people always say, friends always tell you what you wanna hear, and parents otherwise. But then, do they have to be so negative? How do you think i was this pessimistic in the first place? No one gave me the opportunity to be optimistic in life. I hate it. I better start hanging out in the library alone. Away from home. Need to do more studying. Home is not a conducive place to study. Guys. A problem as always. Something isnt right with me. Cant believed i could get so near to the 'group'. Oh wells, its my lucky charm i guess. But im trying to tell myself not to fall for anyone. I need a break. Seriously. I can be all woozy in love, but actually im not. Its just a feeling of assurance. Feeling of someone to be there with me. Face it, i hate being alone. Not when everyone is with someone. But i guess im gonna end up single for the rest of my education years. And not get married. Carrier is important. Oh what am i babbling now? See the pessimism? I cant stop it!!!! Somebody better help me out of this. I think im going crazy.
